Self-care. The word pops up everywhere these days. It’s on Instagram, Pinterest boards, and every influencer’s Sunday to-do list. And if you go by the internet’s definition, self-care is all about bubble baths, face masks, and lighting overpriced candles that smell like “mountain air” (whatever that means).
Don’t get me wrong—bubble baths are cool. But is soaking in lavender-scented water really going to solve your stress from juggling work deadlines, family drama, and that one friend who keeps asking you for “just one little favor” every single week? Spoiler alert: It’s not.
Let’s get real—self-care isn’t about baths and bath bombs. It’s about boundaries.
The Bubble Bath Trap: Why We’re Sold the Fluff
Why is self-care marketed as spa days and skincare routines? Because it’s cute, cozy, and, let’s be honest, profitable. Companies know they can slap the words “self-care” on a jar of sugar scrub, hike up the price, and we’ll buy it faster than we can say “treat yourself.”
But here’s the thing: true self-care isn’t always Instagram-worthy. It’s not about buying a $10 latte or taking a day off to scroll TikTok. It’s about doing the hard stuff—like saying no to things that drain you, walking away from toxic people, and prioritizing your mental health over keeping everyone else happy.
The Power of Saying No
Ah, the dreaded “no.” For some of us, saying no feels like we’re breaking some unspoken rule of being a “nice person.” Women, in particular, are often conditioned to be agreeable, to say yes even when we’re exhausted, overbooked, or just plain don’t want to.
But let me tell you: saying no is the ultimate form of self-care. It’s not selfish; it’s survival.
- That coworker who wants you to stay late and finish their project? No.
- That friend who only calls when they need something? No.
- That invitation to a party you didn’t want to go to in the first place? Nope.
Saying no creates space for you to focus on what actually matters—your well-being, your energy, and your happiness. And the best part? You don’t even have to feel guilty about it. (Seriously, you don’t owe anyone an explanation!)
Self-Care Is Messy, Not Pretty
Real self-care isn’t always picture-perfect. Sometimes, it looks like:
- Ignoring texts because you’re mentally drained.
- Canceling plans to spend the night watching Netflix in your pajamas.
- Telling someone, “I can’t help you with that right now.”
- Turning off your phone, even if it makes people think you’re “hard to reach.”
It’s not glamorous, but it’s freeing. It’s about prioritizing your needs and letting go of the pressure to please everyone else.
Bubble Baths Are Nice, But They’re Not Enough
Look, I’m not here to hate on bubble baths. They’re relaxing, they smell good, and they give you an excuse to avoid people for 45 minutes. But if you’re using a bath to escape the stress of overcommitting and people-pleasing, it’s time to address the root cause.
Self-care isn’t just about treating yourself—it’s about respecting yourself. And sometimes, that means setting boundaries, having tough conversations, and putting your needs first.
The Bottom Line: Boundaries Are the New Bubble Baths
So, why is self-care sold as bubble baths? Because saying no doesn’t come in a cute pastel package. But here’s the secret: when you start setting boundaries, you’ll find that you don’t need a bath to escape your stress.
Next time someone asks you to do something you don’t have the energy for, try this: take a deep breath, channel your inner Beyoncé, and say, “No, thank you.”
And if anyone asks why? Just tell them: “I’m practicing self-care.”
Trust me, the lavender candle can wait. Saying no is the real glow-up.
