I have recently stumbled upon an article on Facebook that had the title something like ‘Stop pleasing people as you will loose the REAL you’ and it stuck with me and I have realized how right that is…
Now, there is nothing wrong in pleasing people from time to time, your family or friends, do good deeds, make people feel good, be kind and spread joy and love around you, but there is a huge difference between being kind and wanting to please people. A line that can be easily crossed, especially if you lack confidence in yourself…
… but deep down inside you FEEL it is not right. I felt it many times and ignored it.
We are taught to please others since we are children. You have to ‘be good’ like you are born ‘evil’ and you have to learn how to be good. You have to please your parents, your teachers and maybe your class mates. You grow up, you learn to please your friends so that you can be part of a group, a gang and later on you are taught to please your boss and your partner… but somewhere on the way most people get lost in this pleasing process. They lose themselves…
…you will feel so relieved when you will just stop giving a damn about unimportant things and start focusing on the things that MATTER to YOU!
Ask yourself this: do you really like lasagna or you just eat it because your friends love it and it became a habit? Do you really like cycling or it’s just a thing that everybody does? Do you really like that dress or it is just popular now and in trend and you want to FIT IN?
At a certain point, there is nothing wrong with having that wish. We are social beings, we need groups, contacts, we need to FIT IN but isn’t it more important to be happy? Just simply happy?
When a woman knows what she wants and knows how and when to say NO and YES, she suddenly is arrogant or a bitch? Why is that? And both women and men seem too arrogant if they say NO or refuse a night out or an offer or anything that they do not want to do. Why do people hurry up to throw some labels upon the people who really know what they want?
I myself realized that I no longer have TIME for small talks, for some people and for some activities that really do not interest me and it feels SO GOOD to say ‘NO, I really don’t give a damn about that new film and I really don’t care…’ Suddenly, I am arrogant and too egocentric, right? OK, I accept this!
It is so important to know yourself and your own path and follow it! You will see that you will no longer have time to get involved in stupid comments on Facebook, in boring activities that do not interest you, coffees with people that have nothing in common with you or people who are complaining all the time.
My dear, this is the reason why you are complaining! It’s because you want to FIT IN and you have lost yourself! Go find yourself and you will not have time to complain!
…we need to FIT IN but isn’t it more important to be happy?
It’s hard, I get it, nothing is easy but I promise you will feel so relieved when you will just stop giving a damn about unimportant things and start focusing on the things that MATTER to YOU!
You want to save the planet, go do that!
You want to travel, do it!
You want to quit your job and start your own business, do it!
You want to take dancing classes, do it!
Life is so short and yet you spend your days like you will live forever… Why do we have that immortal attitude about life, when we all know it’s nothing like that?!
And why do we design our life like other people want it or dream about it? We live to other people’s expectations and to what they think it’s good for us… but deep down inside you FEEL it is not right. I felt it many times and ignored it.
One day I have decided to follow my instinct and guess what, my whole mindset changed. I felt GREAT! It felt RIGHT! And now I have reached a point when I can say NO and I am not losing any opportunity because the moment I say NO, a better opportunity comes my way.
This is not a topic about how the universe works and how the stars get aligned as I have no knowledge in that, but I know for sure from my own experience that the moment I have stopped to please anyone but myself was the best moment of my life! I started to grab the things I want from all my heart!